Super Tuesday: Bush wins everyone's vote in the world, reports Fox

George W. Bush can breathe a little easier.

Despite not appearing on any ballot ticket in any of the 24 states holding presidential primary elections today, Fox News has exclusively reported that current president George W. Bush is leading in all exit polls, even those not within the United States or on earth.

"This is God's will," Fox News correspondent Karl Rove said. "I know Jesus, God and even the Blessed Virgin all have endorsed Mr. Bush and all of the heavenly plane is following suit, as early exit polls indicate he is the uncontested winner of the 2008 Republican Presidential primary."

Early rumors indicated that the Virgin Mary would get behind the sole female candidate, Sen. Hillary Clinton, but those initial reports "were completely false," Rove said.

President Bush, who has taken liberties with the Constitution in the past, reportedly commented that "he doesn't care" if a president can only serve two consecutive terms, or that he doesn't even appear on the ballot, but "the fact of the matter is terrorists."

As of press time, alleged Bush endorser Jesus could not be reached for comment.