Newark, NJ - A flight bound for Spokane, WA was grounded yesterday at Newark Liberty Int. airport, due to a pungent odor that engulfed the cabin, causing nausea and panic amongst passengers and crew.
"It was like death itself was paying us a visit," said passenger Jason McMichael. "I've never smelled anything that awful in my entire life, and I'm a garbage man."
Capt. Lars Holmstead immediately contacted airport security to report the situation.
Suspecting that the smell was evidence of chemical attack, both the FBI and Homeland Security were dispatched to the scene. Grounded passengers were forced to stay in the plane for 12 hours, while it was being searched and secured by FBI agents.
"We brought in highly trained chemical-sniffing dogs. But they couldn't find anything," said Special Agent George Presley. "We couldn't figure it out."
During the investigation, Agent Homer Licasso noticed flight attendant Kathy McCafferty acting strange.
"She was just sitting there, acting like nothing was wrong, almost like she was trying to hide something," Licasso said.
Licasso began questioning McCafferty, who at first denied knowing anything about the smell. After continuous questioning, McCafferty broke down and admitted that the smell was in fact emanating from her vagina.
At that point, the FBI summoned world-renowed gynocologist Dr. Harry Grabenznatch to investigate.
"It only took one whiff to know that this lady was suffering from the worst case of Bacterial Vaginosis I have ever come across," said Grabenznatch. "In my 32 years as a doctor, I thought I'd seen everything. But that was one rotten pussy."
McCafferty could not be reached for comment on her condition. The DP (Dissociated Press) has reported that she committed suicide following the incident.
