In news that shocked the entire universe, Jesus Christ announced that he was cancelling his second-coming "indefinitely", citing that he was having "way too much fun up in heaven."
"The last 2000 years have been a blast!" exclaimed Christ, right before downing two shots of Cuervo. "Everyday is a party, and every party is totally kick-ass!"
Christ said that he had been set on Dec. 21 of this year to start phase one of his triumphant return to earth, but things didn't go as planned.
"December twenty-first is the day St. Josephus is having his Christmas party...and that is one party you do not want to miss. I mean, that dude always has the best music, the most slammin' girls around, and the best weed."
"I don' t know, kids will be kids, I guess," God replied when asked about his son's behavior. "I think this just may be a phase he is going through. I just hope it isn't his way of rebelling against me for that crucifixion, die for all their sins business I made him do."
When asked if he will be resurrecting his plans for the second-coming, Christ replied "I just don't know, man. Right now, I'm getting drunk, getting stoned, and getting laid. Life is good."
2 comments:
Very funny, Larry! And also the picture!
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
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Larry your stories kill me! This definitely the best yet!
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