Hilarious Joke Leads To Woman's Death

Astoria, OREGON - A barbecue held in the backyard of Astoria resident Bob Buchenwald served as the final resting place for party attendee Jill Malowitz, who choked to death on a spoonful of potato salad after hearing the punchline of a hilarious joke.

"It was one of my best jokes," said guest Ken White, the self-proclaimed "life of the party."

"It was a really funny joke," party host Buchenwald agreed. "Ken always has a good joke on hand, but this one took the cake."

When asked why no one helped the choking victim, Buchenwald replied, "We didn't know she was choking...[Malowitz] was a silent laugher. No sound, just an open mouth and body shaking. She always looked like she was choking when she laughed. When her face started to turn red, I just thought she was laughing really, really hard. Like I said, it was a funny joke."

In response to this incident, Congressman J. Randall Smith (R-Ore.)
issued the following statement: "This tragedy just further
proves that joking is no laughing matter. How many people must die
before we realize how dangerous humor really is?"

Rep. Smith stated that he was submitting a bill to Congress "seeking to severely limit how funny a joke can be in order for it to be spoken in public."

When asked about the severity of the law, Smith replied, "There are limits that just shouldn't be crossed, and the American public cannot be trusted to know what is good for them. That is why we elected officials create these laws, to force them onto a good moral path of our choosing."

But partiers like White realize the seriousness of a law that could be called a "laughing matter."

"I disagree with this law. I understand that someone died, but the violence should really stop there," White said, "because it would totally 'kill' my social life!"

White then proceeded to snap his fingers in the air twice before pointing his finger in gun-fashion at a reporter and asking her for her number.