SEA BRIGHT, N.J. - Local deli owner Mario Caccianato "couldn't be happier" with the results of a recent New Jersey advertising campaign to drive tourism to the state's shorelines that border an otherwise debatable geography.
"Businses is good, you know?" Cacchianato said in an interview with the Dissociated Press. "More kids come in now, it's summer time, they buy more cigarettes and booze and go suntan on the beach."
The advertising campaign, launched by the petroleum capitol's tourism department last March, outlines all the fun events and activities vacation-seekers can find in New Jersey. The ads, featuring recognizable tunes from NJ native Bon Jovi, cover images of the Jersey shore, mountains, and carnivals.
Minnesota native Mary Hicks says she was convinced that New Jersey was the best place to plan her next family vacation after viewing the commercials.
"The beaches, the night clubs, the mountains...where else in the world can you go to have that much fun?" Hicks mused.
Hicks, who says that Caccianato's deli is "on the itinerary", plans to fly into Newark airport and head straight through New Jersey's Oil Refinery region to the Garden State parkway to "sit in bumper to bumper traffic" with those fucking Staten Islanders heading down to the shore.
"It'll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I'm sure," Hicks said. "I'm glad my kids are old enough now to really enjoy it and take in the culture."
The New Jersey Department of Commerce (DOC) plans to increase their marketing budget by another $3.2 million to target vacationers like Hicks.
"Obviously, we're doing something right," said New Jersey DOC advertising director Brenda Brooks, "Once the producers approached me with using that Bon Jovi song that he's currently being sued for, 'Who Says You Can't Go Home?', I knew that we had a winner. That song could sell a ketchup popsicle to a lady in white gloves."
Brooks says that Hicks' decision to visit New Jersey follows their assumption.
"People can choose to go anywhere in the world. Once they come to New Jersey, they'll see we have the same things to offer visitors as popular vacation spots such as Mexico, Italy, and even the Far East," Brooks noted, citing that New Jersey has similar offerings in Elizabeth, Bayonne, and Edison respectively.
Hicks, who cites Edison's Oak Tree Road district on the agenda, says she plans to get into a fender bender with an illegal immigrant who'll send his kids to school on your tax dollars and flee the scene of the accident.
"I'm just so excited about our trip!" she exclaimed.
When asked if she plans to visit the New York City, which lies about 3o minutes north from the Unioin Holiday Inn where she's staying, Hicks said that they might fit it in "if they have time."
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