PHOENIX - Like most Americans, 32 year-old regional sales associate Leonard Fisher has opportunist dreams of one day owning a large house with a white picket fence, starting a happy family, and having the ability to tell his dipshit boss to "go fuck himself."
Citing a recent incident, "among many", that involves Fisher's supervisor, Bill Evans, "coincidentally forgetting" instructions and "wasting hours of my time" when "backtracking" on this "fucking Olsen account", Fisher simply smiled and told Evans he'd "get right on it", all the while dreaming of Evans being devoured by thousands of ravenous piranhas.
Fisher, who has yet to tell his boss "to bend over" and take a "long, fleshy cock" up his "fat ass", told the Dissociated Press that he "can't wait for the day to tell that douche bag (Evans) to shove a rod in it," referring to the aforementioned posterior region.
"Evans is such a dipshit," Fisher said. "God, I can't tell you how many times I dreaded him coming into my office, asking how my weekend went and then listening to a fifteen-minute diatribe about how his 'fantastic' weekend was. In reality, though, I'm guessing he spent most of it sitting in his basement drinking Yellow Tail and listening to Bad Company records while his fat, ugly wife nagged him about cleaning the gutters."
While stating that he usually just "smiles and nods" while Evans speaks, Fisher says that he usually daydreams about "slashing the tires on Evans' shitty C-class Mercedes" or "fucking Evans' fat wife seven ways to Sunday" just for the "sheer thrill."
Even so, Fisher admits that it'll be a "long while" before he lives out his dreams."I keep playing the lottery every week - not for the money so much as for the chance to tell Evans what a fucktard piece of shit he really is."
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