WASHINGTON - Democratic Presidential hopeful Senator Barack Obama announced Tuesday that he was, in fact, the prophesized antichrist come to charm followers to fight an apocalyptic war against his heavenly opponents.
Sen. Obama, who has up until now concealed his true identity, finally came clean at a Capitol building press conference to thank his followers for putting their blind trust in him.
"It is because of you," Sen. Obama said, "that has undeservedly catapaulted me this far into the spotlight. Now I can truly control the fate of the world through my evil special interest plans and idealistic, unrealistic economic goals so that you will all have to truly buy and sell under the number [of the beast]."
Sen. Obama promptly lifted his shirt sleeve to reveale the numeral "616" plastered onto his left forearm, inked with human blood.
"When the world opens up, you're all coming into the lake of fire with me, with a one-way ticket on my white horse of death," Sen. Obama added with a wink before popping a the cork off of a $200 bottle of champagne and raising it to the cheering crowd.
"This one's for you and the New World Order - under my command!"
Jesus Christ, Sen. Obama's End of Ages rival, referred to the antichrist's botched attempt to turn an army of angels against God: "I would suggest that instead of running for President, he procure a position to gain some military experience first."
Christ added: "Besides, my father and I are voting for Hillary."
3 comments:
You need to understand something; all the scriptures that discuss the antichrist people have misinterpreted. The antichrist actually does only one thing, he guarantees a peace between Israel and it’s enemies for 7 years (DAN 9:27). The Bow in his hand represents peace (REV 6:2) no arrows, just the Bow, as in the Rainbow in the sky as God said would be a sign.
Remember; (REV 17:8), “... the beast that was, and is not, and yet is.” He was- (Obama), he is not- he dies (REV 13:3) and the world wonders after him (he comes back to life), that is when the beast enters his body (the REAL Antichrist!).
Chapter 13 of Revelation describes the Two Beasts:
- The First Beast is the Antichrist.
- The Second Beast is called the False Prophet in Rev.16:13. The letters inscribed in the Pope's mitre are these: Vicarius Filii Dei, which is the Latin for the Vicar of the Son of God. These add up to 666. http://www.religion-cults.com/antichrist/666.htm
- Both of them, with the Dragon (Satan) of 16:13, form the Satanic Trinity, to emulate most perfectly the Christian Holy Trinity.
Rick - http://youtube.com/user/rickscarpello
okey-doke.
That's hell of funny!
But why 616?
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