LOS ANGELES - Grammy winner, actor, producer, director and now ... pet-owner?
The versatility of Justin Timberlake extended into new avenues of human greatness when the former N'Syncer welcomed home a choleric ferret and allowed it to shit on the lower half of his face before a live taping of Madonna's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction.
Timberlake, who tentatively named his new pet "Scruffy", said his decision to allow the pet to live and subsequently defecate on his chin will "ultimately propel him" into "great new heights" of even more undeserved acclaim - this time from animal rights groups and environmental activists.
"Mr. Timberlake's decision to allow Scruffy to make a home out of his own face is indeed the mark of a new era of altruism," PETA spokesman Ima Nimbisil told the Dissociated Press. "This is truly 'giving' back to the ecology that allows our earth to thrive."
"Perhaps Mr. Timberlake will start a new fashion trend with this statement," Nimbisil added with a wink. "A trend that says animals are beautiful and don't have to be killed to be worn as clothing items."
Timberlake, who closed his introductory speech at Monday night's induction ceremony, expressed: "Some people ask 'Where do I get off?' I was just a singer in a second-rate boy band from the late nineties. But look at all I've accomplished for, really, doing very little. I'm not 'just that guy' that got famous for writing that song about wrecking the shit out of Britney Spears that catapulted into worldwide fame for nothing.'"
After much applause, Timberlake exited the stage as Madonna accepted her accolades from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Academy, adding that the ferret shit, "covered up the cloud of arrogance surrounding Madonna's overactive sense of self-worth."
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