Fresh Princes Cashes in on Inheritance, Skips Town

In this undated photo, Prince
William of Bel Air poses for reporters
at a press event in London. The
Prince is wanted in questioning for
fraud in regard to the late
King Phillip's large fortune.




"This is a story all about how my life got twisted upside down. So, I'd like to take a minute - just sit right there - and I'll tell you all about how I become the Prince of Bel Air"

Chilling words excerpted from a poem penned by the inherent Majesty Prince William of Bel Air, found just days after he ran from the royal Kingdom - pocketing nearly $90 million from the late King Phillip's massive accumulation of wealth.

The Royal Family has yet to release an official statement on the Prince's "check in and cash out" routine, though it is conjectured by our Lady Princess Hilary that Prince William posed as cousin Prince Carlton to corrall the copious cash in the latest scheme that she deems, "totally rank."

"I don't know about you, but when somebody shows up at your door in taxicab claiming to be your nephew from Philadelphia, you don't just take him in no questions asked," Hilary said in an interview with the Dissociated Press.

When asked about her late father's decison to take in Prince William, Hilary only had this to say: "My father, for all intents and purposes, was a kind man, but I don't know how he made such a living as a judge, when he couldn't even determine that the [apparent] Prince William was, like, a total fraud," she said outside the family's reposessed 2.3 acre home in the Bel Air section of Beverly Hills, Calif.

Armed police officers escorted her off of the property moments after being ambushed by a barrage of eager reporters on a rather slow news day.

The scandal comes just weeks after King Philip's not-so-surprising heart attack that ultimately killed him and left the Royal Family in turmoil and disarray. According to local authorities, the not-so-Prince William was last seen in Oakland with a brightly-colored accomplice believed to be conman DJ "Jazzy" Jeff, wanted on sixty separate counts of trying to be cool.

Prince Carlton, who has also filed additional charges against the runaway Prince William for unlawful impersonation - and plans to continue with a civil suit seeking punitive damages for pain and suffering - left the Estate with little to say.

"If I ever find him or Jazzy Jeff, you can be sure that I'll have something to say. For now, I'm just grateful that I no longer live in the shadow of the son my father wished he had," was the cryptic message Prince Carlton left reporters with as he signed a handful of autographs and even posed for a photograph with a cardigan-clad posse of fans.

Queen Vivian was also mum on matters concerning her fraudulent kin.

"He called himself the 'Fresh' prince of Bel Air, and it came at a time when the kingdom was sympathizing with this radical socialist movement. I just thought it was cute. You wanted to pinch his cheeks. Now, I want to break his face. In fact, I want to see him dead," the Queen snarled at reporters when asked about the Prince's allegedly debaucherous affair.


The only person in connection with the scandal who fails to see the repurcussions of the fraudulent Prince's scam is Jeffrey* - who served as the Royal Family's Butler and declined to give his last name.

Jeffrey said that the it was "only a matter of time before King Phillip succumbed to the hazard of his poor diet and bad habits" and that the "Fresh" Prince just sat around and waited until the day that it would "all catch up to [Phillip]."

"After working myself to the bone my entire life for this man, I don't deserve a little bonus? He left it all to that penniless charlatan we had the distaste to call a Prince (William)?" Jeffrey said.

Still, Jeffrey says he does not sympathize with the Royal Family's coercion into poverty.

"To be quite frank, I'm not the least bit upset that his children will live out their days in squalor and squabble amongst themselves how they were led awry. In fact, I'll be taking an early retirement in Boca Raton while they feast off chicken wings in the trailer park estate section of Anaheim," Jeffrey said. "Joke's on them, litrally."

When asked why British people can't produce the phonetic pronunciation of the word "literally", he only replied with, "No comment."